Member Monday: Dale Angel

If I Had a Jeeves

By Dale Angel

dale-angel

He’d find my car that gets lost in the parking lot.

And when I’m waiting with my blinkers on, and a little car the looks like a shoe box on roller skates drives under me and gets my spot, he’d remind me how serious a parking lot homicide can be. He would say, “Just unfriend him.”

He’d graciously make me think I was doing him a favor by letting him fill up the car with gas. He’d know how much a hate to fill up the car.

Even though it would require hand-to-hand combat, he’d drag me out of bed for a two-mile walk every day. Plus forty push-ups.

He’d go through the corporate menu hour after hour searching for a human voice to settle their mistake. And he wouldn’t cuss.

He’d pry the spoon out of my fingers when I’m entertaining myself with a quart of ice cream.

He’d pull the little hairs on the back of my neck to interrupt my ‘Used To’s’. You know… “Used to be that they’d fill up your tank and wash the windshield and check your oil…Used to be able to buy a whole bag of fruit for what you pay for two pieces now…Used to be that a family could survive with only one phone in the house.”

When Jeeves takes me shopping, he’d remind me that the industrial sized packs are designed to feed institutions, and the pennies I save in the store become dollars I lose when I have to throw it out because of age or freezer burn or, worse, recycle it and feed it to my friends because I don’t want it to go to waste.

If I had a Jeeves, he wouldn’t allow me to stock up on 911 foods of the kind that sends one to the hospital for stents.

He’d say things like “The army uses little towels efficiently for thousands of men with no fatality.  Why are you interested in those beach sized towels it takes six dollars and two days to dry?”

When I decided to make jalapeno pickles, standard issue was not enough to do battle with. When he saw that I couldn’t protect myself, he’d yell “Disengage! Disengage!” He earns his money.

“Do you really need the set with all eight pieces? Do you really want to store all that stuff?”

When I cover over and coddle my children, he asks “Why would you be so unkind as to deprive him of the consequences and interfere, and thus delay his maturity?”

He reminds me as we drive past the fire station that there are two things you can drop off there: dead batteries and live babies.

He’d understand…I want to suffer empty nest syndrome.

He’d stand in long lines using his precious fleeting life to find ‘they’re out’ what they advertised and that they never even had. And he wouldn’t gripe.

Saturday’s Meeting: Steven T. Callan and Play Tickets

authorsteventcallanphotobearcub

authorsteventcallanphotooakwoodland

Steven T. Callan

Author Steven T. Callan will speak to the Writers Forum on Saturday, January 14, 2017 at All Saints Episcopal Church in Redding, CA.
Steven T. Callan is the award-winning author of Badges, Bears, and Eagles—The True-Life Adventures of a California Fish and Game Warden, a 2013 “Book of the Year” award finalist (ForeWord Reviews). He is the recipient of the 2014, 2015, and 2016 “Best Outdoor Magazine Column” awards from the Outdoor Writers Association of California. Steve’s sequel, The Game Warden’s Son, was released March 1, 2016, by Coffeetown Press of Seattle, and is the focus of his 2016 book tour.

thegamewardenssonbookcover
Steve was born in San Diego, California, where he spent his early childhood. It was there that he first developed his love of nature, spending much of his spare time exploring the undeveloped canyons behind his house and learning to skin dive in the nearby ocean. In 1960, Callan’s family moved to the small Northern California farm town of Orland. Steve spent his high school years playing baseball, basketball, hunting, and fishing. With an insatiable interest in wildlife, particularly waterfowl, he never missed an opportunity to ride along on patrol with his father, a California Fish and Game warden.
Callan graduated from California State University, Chico, in 1970, and continued with graduate work at California State University, Sacramento. While studying at Sacramento State, he worked as a paid intern for the Sacramento County Board of Supervisors—using this golden opportunity to lobby for protected wildlife corridors in the county’s general plan.
Hired by the California Department of Fish and Game in 1974, Warden Steve Callan’s first assignment was the Earp Patrol District on the Colorado River. He was promoted to patrol lieutenant in January of 1978, leaving the desert and moving to the metropolitan area of Riverside/San Bernardino. While stationed in Riverside, Callan organized and led a successful effort to ban the sale of native reptiles in California. He also organized and led a successful campaign to stop a planned recreational development at Lake Mathews— establishing the lake and its surrounding wildlands as an ecological reserve for thousands of waterfowl and Southern California’s largest population of wintering bald eagles.
Transferring north to Shasta County in 1981, Lieutenant Callan spent the remainder of his thirty-year enforcement career in Redding. While supervising the warden force in Shasta County, Callan created and coordinated the Streamside Corridor Protection Plan—working with city and county planners to establish development-free setbacks along the Sacramento River and its tributaries.
In 1995, Lieutenant Steve Callan and Warden Dave Szody conducted a three-year undercover investigation into the unlawful killing of California black bears for their gallbladders, possibly the most successful wildlife related criminal investigation in California history at the time. Callan and Szody received the distinguished Frank James Memorial award for their accomplishment.
Steve and his wife, Kathleen, a retired science teacher, are passionate about the environment. They are longtime members of no fewer than a dozen environmental organizations and actively promote environmental causes. They are avid bird watchers, kayakers, anglers, and scuba divers. Steve is also a wildlife artist, using photographs he takes while scuba diving for inspiration. Callan has played competitive softball throughout the United States since his college days and, in 2004, was inducted into the National Senior Softball Hall of Fame. Steve can be found online at steventcallan.com.

Riverfront Playhouse Tickets

The Play’s the Thing!

play-ticket

Help support Writers Forum, and enjoy an Edgar-award-winning play from Broadway playwright Ken Ludwig.

From the Riverfront Playhouse’s website: The Story: William Gilette has been shot while on stage in a Sherlock Holmes play. We see him two weeks later at home on Christmas Eve entertaining some of the cast members. A murder,an attempted murder, a female detective, Gilette’s mother; Ah yes, the game’s afoot.

Tickets are $20 for one ticket, or $30 for two. Take a date and save ten dollars! Proceeds support the Riverfront Playhouse and the Writers Forum. Tickets are for the Wednesday, February 1 show only and are available through Jennifer Levens, who can be reached at (530) 722-0504, or by e-mail at theatermaven2@gmail.com . Tickets will also be available for purchase at the January 14 Writers Forum Meeting.

Steven will speak and tickets will be available at All Saints Episcopal Church, 2150 Benton Drive, Redding, CA on Saturday, January 14 at 10:30 AM. All are welcome.

Writers Forum Remembers Sue Kowalewski

sue-kowalewski

Sue Kowalewski, who died on November 25, 2016, at the age of 86, is remembered fondly by her friends at Writers Forum. Sue was a longtime member of Writers Forum whose cheerful smile and amiable personality added grace and cordiality to our monthly meetings. A talented writer, she shared her knowledge of the craft generously with fellow writers. Her wise and knowledgeable suggestions, always delivered in thoughtful terms, helped many of her fellow writers find their way to publication. Critique group meetings at her cozy, inviting home often included a tour of the flower garden that she tended with such care. We’ll remember Sue’s caring spirit and 100-watt smile, and we’ll recall walking with her through a bountiful garden with lovely flowers in bloom.

Steven T. Callan to Speak

authorsteventcallanphotobearcub

authorsteventcallanphotooakwoodlandAuthor Steven T. Callan will speak to the Writers Forum on Saturday, January 14, 2017 at All Saints Episcopal Church in Redding, CA.

 
Steven T. Callan is the award-winning author of Badges, Bears, and Eagles—The True-Life Adventures of a California Fish and Game Warden, a 2013 “Book of the Year” award finalist (ForeWord Reviews). He is the recipient of the 2014, 2015, and 2016 “Best Outdoor Magazine Column” awards from the Outdoor Writers Association of California. Steve’s sequel, The Game Warden’s Son, was released March 1, 2016, by Coffeetown Press of Seattle, and is the focus of his 2016 book tour.

 

thegamewardenssonbookcover

 
Steve was born in San Diego, California, where he spent his early childhood. It was there that he first developed his love of nature, spending much of his spare time exploring the undeveloped canyons behind his house and learning to skin dive in the nearby ocean. In 1960, Callan’s family moved to the small Northern California farm town of Orland. Steve spent his high school years playing baseball, basketball, hunting, and fishing. With an insatiable interest in wildlife, particularly waterfowl, he never missed an opportunity to ride along on patrol with his father, a California Fish and Game warden.

 
Callan graduated from California State University, Chico, in 1970, and continued with graduate work at California State University, Sacramento. While studying at Sacramento State, he worked as a paid intern for the Sacramento County Board of Supervisors—using this golden opportunity to lobby for protected wildlife corridors in the county’s general plan.

 
Hired by the California Department of Fish and Game in 1974, Warden Steve Callan’s first assignment was the Earp Patrol District on the Colorado River. He was promoted to patrol lieutenant in January of 1978, leaving the desert and moving to the metropolitan area of Riverside/San Bernardino. While stationed in Riverside, Callan organized and led a successful effort to ban the sale of native reptiles in California. He also organized and led a successful campaign to stop a planned recreational development at Lake Mathews— establishing the lake and its surrounding wildlands as an ecological reserve for thousands of waterfowl and Southern California’s largest population of wintering bald eagles.

 
Transferring north to Shasta County in 1981, Lieutenant Callan spent the remainder of his thirty-year enforcement career in Redding. While supervising the warden force in Shasta County, Callan created and coordinated the Streamside Corridor Protection Plan—working with city and county planners to establish development-free setbacks along the Sacramento River and its tributaries.

 
In 1995, Lieutenant Steve Callan and Warden Dave Szody conducted a three-year undercover investigation into the unlawful killing of California black bears for their gallbladders, possibly the most successful wildlife related criminal investigation in California history at the time. Callan and Szody received the distinguished Frank James Memorial award for their accomplishment.

 
Steve and his wife, Kathleen, a retired science teacher, are passionate about the environment. They are longtime members of no fewer than a dozen environmental organizations and actively promote environmental causes. They are avid bird watchers, kayakers, anglers, and scuba divers. Steve is also a wildlife artist, using photographs he takes while scuba diving for inspiration. Callan has played competitive softball throughout the United States since his college days and, in 2004, was inducted into the National Senior Softball Hall of Fame. Steve can be found online at steventcallan.com.

 

 

Steven will speak at All Saints Episcopal Church, 2150 Benton Drive, Redding, CA on Saturday, January 14 at 10:30 AM. All are welcome.

Writers Forum Welcomes the New Year

Writers Forum welcomes 2017 with a great line-up of presentations on a variety of topics. On January 14, former game warden Steve Callan will speak on writing his sequel memoir, The Game Warden’s Son. 

On February 1, we’ll enjoy the Edgar-award winning play,  The Game’s Afoot or Holmes for the Holidays, by Ken Ludwig. Tickets will be $20 each, or two for $30. The play will be at Riverfront Playhouse, 1620 E. Cypress Street, Redding.

This fundraiser is intended to offset the loss of the Author’s Fair last month, which was an important funding source for Writers Forum. Between member dues and fundraisers, we are able to send out a monthly newsletter, provide refreshments at the Writers Forum meetings, and provide small scholarships for young writers.

Tickets will be available for purchase at the January 14 Writers Forum meeting.

Member Poetry: Time with a Pen

Time with a Pen

Marie A Warner

 

Sitting down to collect my thoughts,
To draw out what otherwise I would have not.
Always going… thinking of the next thing to do,
My mind always buzzing but to what end I can’t construe.

 

Weighing out what matters at this stage of life,
Knowing what cleanses me from layers of strife.
Enjoying the discovery that words are a friend,
One that will be with me until the end.

 

To collect them on the page gives me such relief,
It helps my day move forward with a new belief.
One I wouldn’t have ever known if I had not sat down,
And given my pen some time to move around.

 

* written in Redding, CA 9/16
Copyright © 2016
by Marie A Warner
All rights reserved.