Today we present to you another Dave Smith piece. (BTW, Dave…most of the people I hear from don’t think you write drivel. Just thought that needed to be said.)
Why Does He Do That?
by Dave Smith
Why does he write that drivel for the Forum? His pencils should be put back in the box.
Are you talking to me?
Let me tell you why.
First reason: The Pandemic. Yes, it has driven me insane, over the top, cuckoo. nuts, bonkers. I am now unable to provide even one correct answer to a Rorschach Test. In the beginning my wife and I were just fine, able to put up with staying home and eating out of the freezer. We prayed for the vaccine, and when it came we ran yelling and flailing to the front of the line.
Unfortunately many of our friends did not. Used-to-be friends I should say. For a bunch of fake reasons, they decided that not trusting science was better than being alive. Better than me being alive. Fine.
Then came the variant, probably only the first of many. And the resurgence of infections. Thank you old friends.
Back to the freezer.
And to my pencil.
Second reason: Procrastination. If I write weird shit like this, I don’t have to address my real problem, which is editing my latest novel.
What? You haven’t read any of my previously-published novels? That’s because there aren’t any. I just told you—I procrastinate, and I do it very well. By writing drivel. Which by the way you are still reading. Have a procrastination problem, do you?
Third reason: Pain. The same people who made me take the Rorschach Test told me there is a fine line between pain and pleasure. Writing is a pleasure, until it’s not, then it’s a pain. I don’t know where that line is…yet. Someday maybe. I like what I write, so I put it out there, knowing you will enjoy it, too. Wrong. You call it drivel. Fine.
Fourth reason: Pity. (Say, are any of you awake enough to realize I just used P to begin all of my reasons? … thought so.)
Pity for our dungeon master George Parker, who cried into his computer a few months ago begging for articles to put on the website or in the newsletter.
I’m here for you, Buddy. I can turn anything that crosses my desk or my mind into an article to help you out. You understand me, right?
… Right, Geo?
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Keep at it, Dave. We need a bit of humor from our fellow authors.
Hey, Dave! Try Reedsy for freelance editors (not free, but reasonable). Let some one else make it look like you’re not procrastinating!
Your Most Royalness,
Do they understand gibberish?