Fridays With Dale: Shelf Life

Dale Angel


Shelf Life

By Dale Angel


My shelf life is expiring.

Some are able to extend the life of a product by serving up the stuff in a pretty dish. No one really knows how outdated it may be in that pretty container…like some people who show up looking almost new.

It gives me comfort. Then…I looked into the image of me as I passed the security camera and I realized my container is so…colorless. I don’t serve up well. I saw a dumpling or a flat sauce with no flavor, so blah. Blue and white is passé.

When your house looks deteriorated and unsalable, the first tools are paint brushes and color. Add a hammer to pound a few nails to hold it up awhile longer.

That may be why some mark themselves with graffiti to serve themselves up in current trendy candy dishes that will be so outdated as soon as someone gets poisoned by the dye. Can the government recall all that…art?  Every other person I see is decorated.

The shelf life of our medical industry is being affected.

Animal doctors are causing a decrease in wages of medical doctors.  The graffiti dealers are out doing the Golfers economy. You notice these things when you see so many golf courses in the for sale ads.

Judge Judy’s shelf life has been extended by the skills of her physical landscaping surgeon, sushi lunches, and a new hairdo.

I live in modern day Rome. We have replaced the lions with an oblong ball. The mayhem is less visible until the player gets older. Then his brains are missing, replaced by money–a more attractive display dish.

There was a conversation recently. She said ”After I get my new breast implants, I think I’ll get tattooed suspenders.” These words came from within my own household. You can almost see a more refined attitude on this subject.

The Food industry has added shelf life to tomatoes that can sit on my counter for weeks and still look beautiful, and Twinkies never expire.

One more saying coming from my house: ”I don’t want those GMO Harlots in my garden with my Organic Virgins.” Does Organic mean a longer shelf life?





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