Today’s contribution is a cheeky little holiday poem from WF member Dave Smith.
A Christmas Mistake
By: Dave Smith
Santa, Santa, where you be?
Ain’t no presents under my tree.
I was good, ‘cept once in September,
And maybe a few times I don’t remember.
Did you get stuck in some chim-in-ee
Droppin’ off gifts for kids like me?
Or did you plain forget?
You stupid fat old shit.
Another pudge with a stained white beard,
Wearing a red suit; now that’s just weird.
And flying deer? What a joke.
What you got in that pipe you smoke?
Bah Humbug I say to you
And tell you what I’m gonna do;
Gonna tell my friends you’re make believe,
A parent’s trick, to deceive
All good kids like me and Joe
With all your silly Ho, Ho, Ho.
Just a sec – Mom is here – what’d you say?
Christmas is not today?
Uhhh, Santa, Santa, please forgive me,
Tomorrow’s the day to check the tree.
Like I said before
I really do adore
Your fancy clothes and friendly deer
And hope you will soon be here
With your jolly self
And maybe an elf
Or two, or three
And lots of presents just for me.
Try to forget what I said about your weight
And stop tonight in the late late late
Of Christmas Eve
Because I really do believe.
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