Today’s contribution is a cheeky little holiday poem from WF member Dave Smith.

A Christmas Mistake

By: Dave Smith

Santa, Santa, where you be?

Ain’t no presents under my tree.

I was good, ‘cept once in September,

And maybe a few times I don’t remember.

Did you get stuck in some chim-in-ee

Droppin’ off gifts for kids like me?

Or did you plain forget?

You stupid fat old shit.

Another pudge with a stained white beard,

Wearing a red suit; now that’s just weird.

And flying deer? What a joke.

What you got in that pipe you smoke?

Bah Humbug I say to you

And tell you what I’m gonna do;

Gonna tell my friends you’re make believe,

A parent’s trick, to deceive

All good kids like me and Joe  

With all your silly Ho, Ho, Ho.

Just a sec – Mom is here – what’d you say?

Christmas is not today?

Oh.

Uhhh, Santa, Santa, please forgive me,

Tomorrow’s the day to check the tree.

Like I said before

I really do adore

Your fancy clothes and friendly deer

And hope you will soon be here

With your jolly self

And maybe an elf

Or two, or three

And lots of presents just for me.

Try to forget what I said about your weight

And stop tonight in the late late late

Of Christmas Eve

Because I really do believe.

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