Too Much Stuff

by Dale Angel

I’m approaching the age where people get that disease “Too-much stuff.” It can begin when you find all kinds of leftovers in the fridge brought home from eating out. But that doesn’t concern me as much as the saved containers; the kind that leak BPA plastic into the food. I went to that place to eat because it is supposed to be healthy. Is that reasonable?

I also find little pieces of old cheese, a leftover bun, something in a jar—no date on it, half a Coke, and unidentifiables that should have moved on long ago.

I never find leftover Southern Comfort, or that Concord grape wine, or Chocolate, the lifesaving kind that requires occasional trips to the pawn shop; medicine that should always be in-house.

If you have the resources to visit the liquor store, you have probably mortgaged the house or hit the lottery.

These kinds of leftovers, if there are any, are very valuable. Don’t throw it out like other stuff. It’s very useful during bouts of daily stressful unforeseen circumstances called crisis. Read the side effects before taking this medicine.

I’m reforming. I promised myself to quit bringing stuff home. I joined again, but didn’t keep my promise again, and I fell off my intentions … again.

Today, I began with new enthusiasm, because I better understand that Garage sales are addictive. I should be having them, not visiting them. I looked into the back of the cupboards and found things hiding I brought home months ago. No one told me they multiply in areas out of sight, in garages, and in storage containers.

Pretty things that are ornamental but not useful have no redeeming value, except your thoughtfulness to send them to someone you think needs a gift. My sister asked me not to be so thoughtful or she will send them back. She said “they’re as useful as toe covers.”

I tried to return a vase to a friend, she almost attacked me. She said her husband’s Aunts had died and left them all their stuff, and there wasn’t enough room left in the house to hang her car keys. She drove a nail on the outside wall to hang them on.

I’m not the only one with this ‘Too-much disease.’ About everyone has a mild or severe case. I’m ashamed to admit I found a coat bought in San Francisco one summer. It’s never been cold enough to wear it here. The shame comes from the size. It shrank while hanging in the closet.

Rehab has been helpful. I’m ahead of one of my friends who is so proud of her 20 year-old blouse. I quit wearing mine. I’m confident I can add it to my throw-away pile without too much separation anxiety. I have some medicine in the fridge for these kinds of crisis.

Writers Forum is open to submissions for the blog or the newsletter. Please submit copy to the editor at writersforumeditor@gmail.com . Electronic submissions only. Microsoft Word format, with the .docx file extension, is preferred but any compatible format is acceptable. The staff reserves the right to perform minor copy editing in the interest of the website’s style and space.

Type of Material and Guidelines for e-newsletter and Website Submission: 1.) Your articles on the art or craft of writing. 2.) Essays on subjects of interest to writers. (200 words can be quoted without permission but with attribution.) 3.) Book or author reviews. 4.) Letters to the Editor or Webmaster. 5.) Information on upcoming events, local or not. 6.) Photos of events. 7.) Advertise your classes or private events. 8.) Short fiction 9.) Poetry

Revenge Cup

By Dale Angel

On a cold rainy morning in the city there opened a new fast food place with the smell of coffee permeating the frosty air. It invited you inside with clean tiled walls and shiny new windows. It looked like a good place to work, if I can get a job there.

Applications were submitted at an office across town. The long bus ride was uncomfortable because of the overwhelming smell of diesel. I was glad to get off and walk the next few blocks locating the address. It was up a flight of outside stairs that needed repair. Opening the door, at the end of the room I saw a large man behind a large desk that almost touched wall to wall.

Our conversation was brief. He informed me they didn’t hire old people.

Their labor would be only young high school kids, I was all of forty but could pass for thirty-nine some days…at early evening. It left me wounded, too emotional to ride back and let anyone see me crying. I walked miles in the rain with my hot tears mingling with cold rain.

I got a job cleaning an apartment overlooking the river. It was completely walled-in glass, with a large glass table, large glass lamps, large glass covered pictures, a glass coffee table, glass fronted furniture, huge mirrors, and a glass coffee pot. The lady of the house always left as soon as I arrived explaining she was out to her afternoon delight. She shared with me that she was a former prostitute and that her husband was a Fireplace tools manufacturer. One day as she pulled on her coat that looked just like Pat Nixon’s before they were asked to leave the White House, she again explained she was out to for her Afternoon Delight. I had in my mind a mocha soufflé or pineapple sundae. I asked what it was.

She looked over her mod glasses her white manufactured hair framing her face and explained it was her lover.

She had made it to the elevator when the earthquake hit.

I looked out the windows and saw the river hit the glass windows. Shards of glass whirled at me and I floated on the table as the lamps and glass cupboards shattered and the glass chandelier swung. It sounded like a bomb went off. I was wet. I thought it was blood. It was my thumb, frozen on the glass cleaner container spraying and as the building rolled and whirled. My legs became weak, but my mind returned.

I realized I didn’t get hazardous pay.

I revisited that fast food place gave out coffee cups with their logo on it, drumming up business the promise was…. always a cup of free coffee if you use their advertising cup. Thirty and more years have passed, but I don’t keep account of injuries or hold grudges. Recently, out of spite, I pulled mine out of the cupboard and asked for my free coffee. One local establishment refused. The one across town honors me with fresh coffee with real cream served by a gracious manager. It’s my revenge cup although small in comparison to the large man and large desk, and the cup is now bigger than both of us.

There’s something comforting in revenge.

Writers Forum is open to submissions for the blog or the newsletter. Please submit copy to the editor at writersforumeditor@gmail.com . Electronic submissions only. Microsoft Word format, with the .docx file extension, is preferred but any compatible format is acceptable. The staff reserves the right to perform minor copy editing in the interest of the website’s style and space.

Type of Material and Guidelines for e-newsletter and Website Submission: 1.) Your articles on the art or craft of writing. 2.) Essays on subjects of interest to writers. (200 words can be quoted without permission but with attribution.) 3.) Book or author reviews. 4.) Letters to the Editor or Webmaster. 5.) Information on upcoming events, local or not. 6.) Photos of events. 7.) Advertise your classes or private events. 8.) Short fiction 9.) Poetry

Gardens Driven

by

Dale Angel

I have been accused of being obsessive. Me! I’m sensible…I think?

In my opinion one of the most beautiful of God’s gifts is a compost pile. It quietly invites all kinds of beneficial life that are producers. Do you know how hard it is to find producers? And they work in harmony. Lower uneducated forms of life do better at this than we do, and add creating something like a divine product that is welcome to all circles, including the very highest of society. When it is very good, like good wine, people will stand in line to get some. It’s Gardens Driven. When my family wants to come and clean up my yard, a family affair, we disagree. It’s not trash. It’s like a pregnancy, building a future life. So it’s not always in pristine beauty. Who is? The future will reveal all the potential hopes. I know, I carry every leaf and twig to it. My family says it’s almost a religious experience to watch me feed it, carry it water and food scraps. I’m obsessive. Nothing leaves my kitchen without a hope. Coffee grounds and orange peels have a useful future life. I know it’s not beauty to every eye at this time. Give it time to flower.

Why can’t I just buy a sack of fertilizer and sprinkle it and remove the eye sore?

Because the last enriched sack of their prescribed precious compost killed my Coconut Thyme in a few hours! It’s not openly discussed but in garden circles and Universities the new herbicides/pesticides are contaminated with some new unheard of by-product that kills plant life and the earth on contact for up to two years. It’s almost like a new weapon the powers that be are covertly trying to figure out how it works. Could it be an Agent Orange product leaking? I promised to hide it, but where?

I guess I could quit the worm bin. It is cranky during the heat and it is getting hotter. They are such uncomplaining little creatures and ask for so little and are so generous. I suppose I could pile it in that corner. I like worms, to throw them out of their house is as bad as throwing people out of their homes. It’s cruel. I can’t watch a compost pile being desecrated, piling it in the garbage can and carried away leaving a clean raked area. I have friends who don’t allow a stray leaf to land in their yard, it makes me unsettled. They indicate my yard would be as beautiful as their yard if I’d clean up the mess. Bring me the smelling salts! I may be sicker than I think, is obsessiveness kin to Alzheimer’s?

Writers Forum is open to submissions for the blog or the newsletter. Please submit copy to the editor at writersforumeditor@gmail.com . Electronic submissions only. Microsoft Word format, with the .docx file extension, is preferred but any compatible format is acceptable. The staff reserves the right to perform minor copy editing in the interest of the website’s style and space.

Type of Material and Guidelines for e-newsletter and Website Submission: 1.) Your articles on the art or craft of writing. 2.) Essays on subjects of interest to writers. (200 words can be quoted without permission but with attribution.) 3.) Book or author reviews. 4.) Letters to the Editor or Webmaster. 5.) Information on upcoming events, local or not. 6.) Photos of events. 7.) Advertise your classes or private events. 8.) Short fiction 9.) Poetry

Today we have the first of a series from Writers Forum member Dale Angel. Dale has been a regular contributor to Writers Forum newsletters for years, and her readings at our semi-annual Read Around are always some of the most popular. I plan to run a Dale Angel story every Friday, at least through Labor Day. Enjoy!

Geo.

Online Class

by

Dale Angel

I’m taking an online class. The subjects are varied and useful for everyday life. The teacher is well-known, educated and comes with credentials and a title. The instructor’s name is Judge Judy.

I personally learned how to dress for the work environment. You need a white lace collar. It made me realize I need the services of the physical landscaping skills of her surgeon. She looks sixteen and last class she showed up with blond hair, the necessary equipment for the job.

She shows us the value of personal worth by refusing to get involved in domestic affairs…what she calls, “playing house with benefits”. She will not divide up the items fought over like the plaintiff’s toothbrush holder and running shoes or the defendant’s rims off her car. She will not unmingle their toys. She’s not using up her life or education over trivias, especially when both want a refund and compensation on their bad investment. We can all learn something from this.

She’s very astute in unraveling who threw the first punch…and she can identify the keys of rejected lovers who used them to damage the cars belonging to the party of the first part. Her work ethics are so creative when one’s spouse sues, and the problem is from the unemployment that brought it about, her advice is ”just gather cans and hire your own attorney”.

She’s fair. She is a master at identifying manufactured disabilities that her bailiff pays his taxes to support so the disabled party has an income…while surfing. The case of the women who sued for back injury and pain and suffering was enlightening. Judge Judy told her to try climbing down off those shoes, see if that helps…next!

Her practical questions are so skilled you see people tattling on themselves. She is very good to youths who have coping problems, who she says, “lie when their mouths are moving”. She is so kind, she never deprives them of consequences. It shows a great deal of experience in this area. I need to know more about things like this, but at present, I’m underqualified. Never do business without defensive receipts-you will need them for decades because someone may come out of the woodwork.

Save all receipts. Good to know.

Writers Forum is open to submissions for the blog or the newsletter. Please submit copy to the editor at writersforumeditor@gmail.com . Electronic submissions only. Microsoft Word format, with the .docx file extension, is preferred but any compatible format is acceptable. The staff reserves the right to perform minor copy editing in the interest of the website’s style and space.

Type of Material and Guidelines for e-newsletter and Website Submission: 1.) Your articles on the art or craft of writing. 2.) Essays on subjects of interest to writers. (200 words can be quoted without permission but with attribution.) 3.) Book or author reviews. 4.) Letters to the Editor or Webmaster. 5.) Information on upcoming events, local or not. 6.) Photos of events. 7.) Advertise your classes or private events. 8.) Short fiction 9.) Poetry