Queen’s Letter: Notsobrighterday

Writers Forum President and Queen shares her take on the covid-19 restrictions as we enter the Memorial Day weekend.


May people are optimistic that places are opening up. I remain crabby.

Redding City Council meeting was bullied and bull-horned by a mob this week, demanding things open up further. They also want churches to re-open because, God.  The federal government wrote a letter to our governor to re-open churches because, First Amendment.

I know it wasn’t any of you who went to the Mother’s Day church service in Butte County where an old guy had Chingona and infected others there. I’m pretty sure none of you went to the Cottonwood Rodeo that same weekend. Both in violation of state orders. And no one was wearing a mask, ‘cause, where’s the fun in that?! Happy Mother’s Day. Way to celebrate.

Churches are the places that have infected more people than any other gathering spots besides nursing homes. It’s not the touching and the hugging. It’s the breathing and the singing. Physical distancing is negated by raising your voice.  This is why we can’t have a nice Quarantine.

And it’s not enough that you don’t go to church.  It’s that after exposure to people from many neighborhoods who have gathered at the church, people go to the store. Your store, your take-out restaurant, and expose those people. So, Butte County’s church becomes your store’s infection point.

I’ve argued and negotiated distance and 30-minute timers with people coming into the law liberry without masks in violation of the posted policy on my door.  I’m gonna use a squirt gun next. I’m tired of wiping staplers, counter tops, desks, chairs and door knobs after each person uses them. And that’s just the stress at my workplace.

This staying the ‘eff at home has been hard on all of us. Some more than others. There are some Writers Forum members who own their own small business who have had to shut down. There are those who own professional solo practices who have had to close up. Essential First Responders who work at grocery stores, and families who live with nurses and are caregivers to First Responders’ grandchildren are trying to stay safe from infection while trapped together.  There is even someone who works the 911 phones. Imagine how hard that is.

There are now cases in all counties but one up here. Know what that means? It means that someone from Trinity County went somewhere and got Chingona and came back with it, or let someone visit from somewhere else who gave it to him. We know that because for two months, there were no reported cases in Trinity County. This was not an Immaculate Infection. It came there from a person carrying it inside them who wouldn’t stay the ‘eff at home. Cases are not rising in Shasta County, but they are everywhere else in California.

This is Memorial Day Weekend and people want to get out and remember the war dead, and to blow off steam. I’ve heard celebratory gunshots and fireworks at night this week in my neighborhood. Assholes abound. Please don’t go to Walmart or Costco. Masks are not enough to protect you from the crowds there who are buying party supplies for this weekend.  Go on Tuesday.  If you have to go there at all. A smaller market is best. During the earliest hours. With your damn mask on.

If you think being outside is just fine, think again. If you’re in a crowd this weekend, it won’t help you to be outside where people are not wearing masks. Even walking past them won’t help. They’ll be shouting, laughing and spreading Chingona far and wide if they have it, making a cloud of droplets that will linger for several minutes while you walk under it. Fresh air doesn’t kill this Chingona.  And you can’t tell if they have it. That’s the thing, isn’t it? You can’t tell by looking at people. They may know they have it, they may not know for sure. And some people don’t care enough about you. Stealthy Assholes.

I’m going to be occupying myself at the ‘eff home, doing yard work with my online supplies from Home Depot delivered directly to my door; reading, and viewing classes on Udemy.com. I’m taking Sell Your Novel to a Major Publisher, Write a Bestselling Novel in 15 steps, and The Foundations of Fiction Writing Mastery.  Really these are so good! And it’s not reading which takes concentration and comprehension! They are video lectures with prompts and examples and exercises! And you can make them repeat!

I have writer friends in New Jersey who are having trouble concentrating one day and then getting a burst of creative energy another day only to be felled by no-energy the next. None of them have Chingona, they are just getting Quarantini Blues. They joke about gaining the 19 pounds of Covid-19 stress eating. They are also trying to keep young children educated and alive at their houses. I have writer friends in San Diego, CA; and St. Augustine, Florida who are being intimidated in the street for wearing their masks. I have writer friends in the Bay Area who were laid off and are about losing their minds trying to get the Unemployment Office to answer the damn phone after writing out online applications and receiving nothing. For days and hours each day. They have mortgages and small children who need to eat. And these are all published writers who have agents and everything.  This is really hard.

What I want to do is stay the ‘eff at home in preparation for the next wave coming in two weeks from this weekend. The Asshole Factor for Memorial Day Weekend will infect people and start making new Chingona cases within 14 days. It may come in day 2 or day 13.  We don’t know. But we can stay home this weekend and not be spit on, or shouted at, or sung to.

I love you. Stay safe. Stay the ‘eff at home.


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4 thoughts on “Queen’s Letter: Notsobrighterday

  1. Your Majesty: Life is hard, then you die. Your glass isn’t half full or half empty, it’s completely empty. Best not to empty the half full glass that at least half the population has. Why don’t you just have us all blow our brains out? Oh? too messy? Pills then? Keep calm and carry ‘the eff’ on. From a sensible Brit with the foresight and guts of Sir Winston Churchill.

    • Michael, that’s quite the overreaction to what she is actually saying.

      Why don’t you submit a counter-point piece? I think that ‘Keep calm and carry ‘the eff’ on’ would make a good theme.

      • Maybe a slight overreaction, but then not really, unless the queen’s piece is intentionally overflowing with sarcasm, which I cannot see but read as a panicky plea to stay shut inside till the 1st of never. I love our “queen”, great personality and all that, but re this subject it’s all doom and gloom, it’s like the cancer won’t kill us but the chemotherapy will. Be positive, careful and considerate when outside. (I’m not a prude but in my opinion we don’t really need so much ‘swearing’). Got to give the people spirit and fight while dispatching care and common sense. Get out there when you want to and have to, but be careful and wear your maskees, and stay 6 feet apart, etc! Thanks for your email 🙂

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