Welcome back to Member Monday. Today it’s my pleasure to share another piece by the witty and talented Dale Angel.
by Dale Angel
My neighbors are very congenial. They live across the driveway. They have lived there several years, I hardly knew they were there, they were so quiet. In the summer we became acquainted when I bumped into them as they perused the neighborhood. They never do meth or smoke dope or fight. I’ve never seen the police at their house, they tend to their own business. After I met them I watched and recognized their contribution to the area we shared. This is a senior community. They look ageless and like flowers. They raised a small family. I wasn’t invited to the wedding, it was a family affair, but I saw that their children moved nearby. The new couple set up house keeping and started a family. I wasn’t concerned although they had moved very close. In fact, they built in the porch banister. Every day I passed the ongoing activity I was amused, until today. There was an army of ants attacking the nest. The parents were flying about frantically. They’re puffy black fuzz balls about the size of a nickel.These are Carpenter Bees and they look so obese and overloaded, moving themselves on tiny wings hardly big enough to keep a fly in the air. Their legs hang down as they fly.They drill and saw perfectly round holes without instruments. Some consider this destructive.I thought I was neutral, but I found myself running for the Home Defense Container…I hate guns and war implements and poisons! I took up arms and used lethal weapons and came to the bee’s aid. I sprayed the banister wiped the entrance to the nest with a cloth dipped in ant killer barely, so the ants felt threatened and retreated as soon as they whiffed my nerve gas, keeping in mind I didn’t want to do bodily harm to my neighbors. It remains to be seen if it worked. The collateral damage was extensive to the ants but we are not on friendly terms anyway as they attack my home every summer and I have a vacuum cleaner full of them. My way of dealing with terrorists.Carpenter Bees weren’t mentioned on the Home Defense label although Deadly long legs were. It helps to wear glasses when in war, on second perusal, it said ‘’Daddy long legs’’. The mom and dad live in my tool shed in a particle board shelf and they have me trained to vacuum up saw dust…its such a small price to pay for entertainment, so much for neighborhood neutrality.
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Witty, as usual. Love Dale’s work.
I love all your stories, Dale!