Welcome back to Member Monday.  It’s my pleasure to welcome my friend and colleague Tim Hemeon.  Tim is a writer, musician and teacher.  Here’s an excerpt from his first novel, Soul Storm.  Soul Storm can be purchased online and at several local bookstores including All About Books.

Soul Storm

By Tim Hemeon

Rex and Ken retrieved the Excursion while Sheldon rested.  Carol was thrilled to visit with another woman who was opinionated, feminine, and most of all not brainwashed.

Together they packed food and water to add to their supplies. Sally insisted on giving them a Bible, a version called The Message.  She said it was full of contemporary language.

“Readin’ a Bible with speech patterns from Shakespeare’s time is just plain stupid,” said Sally. “Wasn’t that the appeal of Jesus anyway?”

“I guess,” said Carol. The last thing she needed right now was a religious lecture, but she tried to be polite.

“I mean, he didn’t stay up on high and speak down to us. He became a common person – a laborer. Talked to people in a way they understood. I think about that sometimes. You know that phrase, ‘What would Jesus do?’ Well, I think he’d read a Message Bible.”

Carol burst out with a giggle. “Jesus reading a Bible – somehow that strikes me funny.”

“I know what you mean. It is odd to think about. But that’s my whole point. I doubt he’d fit into our God-box. I think he’d show up to church wearing old Levis with holes in the knees, a flannel shirt, and maybe a beanie. He’d be full of piercings and tats. And then he’d laugh out loud at the idea of eating a wafer the size of a Tic-Tac and a thimbleful of grape juice and calling it a meal of communion.”

Carol tried to picture that and she could see the logic to it.

Sally continued, “I bet he’d show up to church with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken and start passing it around along with cans of Cokes. And the bucket would never empty. People would be getting chicken grease all over their polyester blouses and suits, kids would be guzzling sodas and burping the ABC’s, and everyone would be laughing. Then of course the minister would throw him out for causing a disturbance.”

Carol had never thought of such a thing, and it struck her that she’d seen God in stereotype all of her life. He was just a cliché to her.

“He’d be too much for the establishment to accept. But I bet if he showed up to a poor church somewhere they’d chow down with him and give thanks. Just like when he walked the earth, it was the down-and-outers who related to him. Anyway, that’s why I like this Bible. It makes sense – so I want you to have it.”

“Thanks,” said Carol. Maybe she’d try reading it sometime; couldn’t hurt.

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